Anonymous said: I have a lot of anxiety & stress that I'll never be able to marry a man/have a long-term male partner b/c so many statistics/accounts say too many men inevitably pay for sex/see sex workers, strippers. etc. I want to believe that not all men (eventually) do this, but I feel like current culture tells men they are entitled to this. Many of the accounts I’ve read are by men who claim to be happily married & pay for sex discreetly. It makes me feel like I’ll never be able to trust men. Any advice?
I wish I had a better answer to your question.
I also wish I could assure you that you will
find a good man who will be loyal to you, but
this is not guaranteed for anybody. I think a
lot of it has to do with trust. It takes
courage to let go and give your heart to
someone. But if and when you do find the right
guy I think you will KNOW. I think you’ll look
into his eyes and see love and devotion. A
devotion that will cut through your anxiety and
set your mind at ease.
I can only assume that you chose to message me specifically because you wanted a male point of view. However asked my GF (who despite what she says is far more intelligent and articulate than myself.) if she had any advice to add, and this was her response -“Trusting your intuition is very important. I know it’s hard to weed out the anxiety and figure out how you really feel (I know that it’s an issue for me), but once you’re in tune with how you feel, your heart will sort of guide you. Don’t let yourself be tricked, and don’t settle if things don’t feel right for you. Also, don’t be afraid to specifically seek out partners who believe what you believe and share your values, even it feels like you’re being too demanding. For example, finding a man who values male fidelity, is sensitive to your insecurities, and respects women overall seems like a lot to ask, but it will make you feel much better in the long run when you do find someone who has all these traits. It takes time, trust, and patience, but it’s not impossible. Finally, make sure you work on loving and respecting yourself. A large part of your insecurity is like a mind game within you - if you truly believe in how fantastic a person you are, your partner will as well. When you value yourself, you’ll be less likely to get nervous and self-sabotage when you feel scared. I promise.”
We sincerely hope this helps!